Sometimes you think that writing a straight and an honest letter might just makes things easier, well I tried but couldnt mail this letter, coz it isnt worth it. Coz it would probably mean sending a mail to a person who just wants to completely ignore it. However, I thought I should save a copy of the mail...so here it goes...

Hi,
They say that when you have committed a sin, people go to the Church to confess about their wrong doing, but I aint done anything wrong, except I couldnt judge time, and I couldnt recognise an opportunity waiting for me...

They also say, that its of no use of picking out old bones from the cupboard (or is that a different phrase) coz they only make you sad... But I had to otherwise I wouldnt get time and oppurtunity might not knock at my door again!

I look back at time, cant say years....but the kind of time we had spent together...where we had to built upon each others trust, faith and love. Things werent hunky dory, but we had put in our enough efforts to actually sail our boat together....

And as they say (AGAIN) that a girl and a guy cant be best of friends either commitment or marriage comes in and lo and behold! things go haywire and a simple and a beautiful relationship comes to an end.

Its been one and a half year since we had a talk on the marriage aspect (oh no am not starting again!) And thats when you told me to wait for 2 or more years...to see where we can head and that whether I can wait or not. After that all hell broke loose, coz a proposal came thru which shattered lot of things, including me and you emotionally. We parted, leading our own lives independently - trying to get back to normal period of our lives.

That's when you came in the picture again, I tried to contact you, and so on and so forth. When finally one day, you called up asking whether I can meet you since you might be moving out of town. I guess by that time already I had made myself quiet strong enough not to melt down easily keeping practical things in mind and then letting the heart rule later on...

And that wasnt it, we are still keeping in touch, talking about all the things existing in the world, about you and me, and other different things....When just this last week you tell me that you might be moving out of the country all together...and as you said even I dont know when we might meet again, if thats going to happen.

Which took me all together on a different plane of thought, had we been together till this date, would we have learned to appreciate each other more, love and respect each other more, or we might have not learnt anything at all and the relationship would have gone sour....

Is there a chance that we can get back together, see if things work out for us and wait for the outcome. Well I dont know, and as they say wait for the correct time and things shall happen.....which brings me to another question, Do we turn the tide towards us, or wait and see if the tide comes and turns us??

-- Megha Katira

Did you make any sense out of that?

Experimenting, and more experimenting

I love not being normal, normal is too simple...it isnt for a psychosassy (a new word that I learnt) like me...normal isnt a challenge, being what you are not...is! It feels nice to be back but not with a bang! Coz have completely stopped writing a diary and that has stopped me from maintaining my own chain of thoughts...

So without going too much further into why's and wherefores' of the things...lets get back from where I started off...woke up early today morning only to come down badly with a dizzy headache but that didnt stop me from going to the Zoo - our photography assignment that we had...and as always I was trying to juggle with time thinking will reach and it wouldnt be a problem...

Off late been thinking what if I try to pretend the person I am not, what difference will it make and how will it affect me in long run. Being somebody out of the box, could be interesting because you learn in that process, or it could be the either way - DESTROYING yourself.

But only if things were that easy, as they say - 'Easier said than done' - it's in the human nature, just cant help it - and as I repeat myself, its only that moment, or that situation which lets you know your true self.

So then the question arises - "Who Am I?" or "Identify please!" and thats when the confusion sets in, a person gets frustrated, gets mad and then goes down in depression...Well what could be worse?