My mail to Dakkuben.....

From: "Megha Katira" To: "Devyani Pancholi" , Dev.Pancholi@leicester.gov.ukDate: Thu, 10 Aug 2006 19:00:37 +0530Subject: Re: Fwd: Touching...
Dearest Sis....
Nice to hear from you after a looooooong time of silence.....(no mails) :))) yea had a good time at Bangkok...during one of the days we partied hard till 3.00 am and shopped but not much...went to some night show out there (wink) with ppl who were safe to go with....hehehehee...did several water sport activities out there...like went underwater - fed the fishes, did parasailing and went on a water scooter ride in Pataya coz Bangkok as you said is similar to Bombay....and as soon as we came we had to work work and work....so much WORK! and utni hi gaali sunni padti hai....aaaaaahhhhhh! One of those days....and we as sensitive as we ever will be....feel hurt and dejected and all that...which shdnt be like that....really...cant take it in our stride all we feel is we have committed a sin by doing a mistake...sometimes you wish you were strong and let things go off...
And especially in a place wher eI work where you have lot of women and all that...its quiet competitive...and sometimes you feel you are lost...coz there are lot of ppl with double standards ppl whom you think you can trust share some views and opinions....but NO one fine day you are WRONG...your perception against the whole thing changes...there are sharks in the sea rather than those small cute lil fishes that I fed underwater....and all they want to do is eat up eat up eat up.......
SIGH! am just fed up...guess I need a break from all these ppl out here...sometimes I feel am not cut out to stay in this kind of world...but then thinking of ppl like you, dad is, mom is....my frnds out there...you feel all is not lost...there are still some left to care for you...but guess thats world so got to live...fight and survive everything that it has got to offer you...maybe thats what makes us better human beings...and brings the best out of us....:)

Whoa! That seems like lot of gyan that I mailed you....:)))) looks like just a week teaches you a lot of stuff....hehehehe...Yea Alps told me that you will be visiting London...hope you had good fun...they will leave for Rajkot tomm...for Janmashtmi...

Nywayz...you take care...Dont worry abt us....

Loads of luv and luc
Meg$

Put The Glass Down

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his students on stressmanagement. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,"How heavy do you think this glass of water is?" The students'answers ranged from 20g to 500gm."It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on howlong you hold it.If I hold it for a minute, it is OK.If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it,the heavier it becomes."If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we willnot be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasinglyheavier. What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest fora while before holding it up again.We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can berefreshed and are able to carry on.So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden ofwork down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it uptomorrow.Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let itdown for a moment if you can.Pick it up again later when you have rested.Rest and relax. Life is short, enjoy it!~Author Unknown~

It is sometimes so strange that we seem to never learn from our own mistakes....I mean inspite of falling down hard and I mean really hard....we still go and bang our head where it does not belong....or maybe for that matter we have become too used to getting ourselves hit that we just want it ....maybe can say its a 'sadisitic addiction' :)) well let's not consider the world in the kind of obesessions or policies I have in life...or towards the world. Or the kind of outlook I have...coz no matter how cool or no matter...how unpreturbed you happen to appear above the surface it clearly does not reflect...Its just too difficult to hide those emotions....coz if you are sensitive downright...its not going to help at all..

So the best way would be tooooooooo.....Just let things be as they will be....No Hassle....as they say 'Free Your Mind'.....and as my dear friend Jehadi says...."Clear your mind of mechanisms'...which reminds me that I still can visualise his face....with a gleeful smile on his face telling to just have fun....go ahead and have fun...forget the world forget about the people around you....

I mean his expressions are like 'Have fun Strictly' :))) yea....that sounds much better...Fun Fun Fun and more fun.....thats the code word....or maybe I need to start playing like 'Whats the word for the day?' Fun Fun Fun....try all the words or synonymns which have something like fun....smile, happy, gleeful, enjoy, party, chirpy, bubbly, laugh laugh laugh.....cool maybe I can just make a song out of the whole thing....:)) there is another smiley....

And there will be more only if I choose to.....

Till then have fun...
Keep smiling
Oh I got another word CHEERFUL...hehehehehee....

Will keep laughing
Megs

Two words that I learnt...in the past week....
Rule: Follow it religiously!

Its strange sometimes how some things hurt us unexpectedly. You never thought about it, you never thought it could hit you badly...but when it does it shatters you to pieces.Which shouldnt be happening. The ideal thing would be to flush off things what ever keeps on hampering you....how easy could that be...I mean flushshshshs......and everything else goes down the drain...heheheheee...
(Wicked! Wicked very very much...)
At the end of the day, we are those humans who crave for attention...die for attention...and would do anything when someone shows enough concern...(a very common thing - which is natural) how we tackle it is the main issue...and I really havent learnt it till now...but am slowly learning about it...and I think for me it might just be the start....and I have a long road to go ahead...
But its fine all I have to do is remember two golden words - Flush out and (de) ttach....which is the best option...so lets start reciting, flush - dettach, flush - dettach...hehehee...

Sometimes you think that writing a straight and an honest letter might just makes things easier, well I tried but couldnt mail this letter, coz it isnt worth it. Coz it would probably mean sending a mail to a person who just wants to completely ignore it. However, I thought I should save a copy of the mail...so here it goes...

Hi,
They say that when you have committed a sin, people go to the Church to confess about their wrong doing, but I aint done anything wrong, except I couldnt judge time, and I couldnt recognise an opportunity waiting for me...

They also say, that its of no use of picking out old bones from the cupboard (or is that a different phrase) coz they only make you sad... But I had to otherwise I wouldnt get time and oppurtunity might not knock at my door again!

I look back at time, cant say years....but the kind of time we had spent together...where we had to built upon each others trust, faith and love. Things werent hunky dory, but we had put in our enough efforts to actually sail our boat together....

And as they say (AGAIN) that a girl and a guy cant be best of friends either commitment or marriage comes in and lo and behold! things go haywire and a simple and a beautiful relationship comes to an end.

Its been one and a half year since we had a talk on the marriage aspect (oh no am not starting again!) And thats when you told me to wait for 2 or more years...to see where we can head and that whether I can wait or not. After that all hell broke loose, coz a proposal came thru which shattered lot of things, including me and you emotionally. We parted, leading our own lives independently - trying to get back to normal period of our lives.

That's when you came in the picture again, I tried to contact you, and so on and so forth. When finally one day, you called up asking whether I can meet you since you might be moving out of town. I guess by that time already I had made myself quiet strong enough not to melt down easily keeping practical things in mind and then letting the heart rule later on...

And that wasnt it, we are still keeping in touch, talking about all the things existing in the world, about you and me, and other different things....When just this last week you tell me that you might be moving out of the country all together...and as you said even I dont know when we might meet again, if thats going to happen.

Which took me all together on a different plane of thought, had we been together till this date, would we have learned to appreciate each other more, love and respect each other more, or we might have not learnt anything at all and the relationship would have gone sour....

Is there a chance that we can get back together, see if things work out for us and wait for the outcome. Well I dont know, and as they say wait for the correct time and things shall happen.....which brings me to another question, Do we turn the tide towards us, or wait and see if the tide comes and turns us??

-- Megha Katira

Did you make any sense out of that?

Experimenting, and more experimenting

I love not being normal, normal is too simple...it isnt for a psychosassy (a new word that I learnt) like me...normal isnt a challenge, being what you are not...is! It feels nice to be back but not with a bang! Coz have completely stopped writing a diary and that has stopped me from maintaining my own chain of thoughts...

So without going too much further into why's and wherefores' of the things...lets get back from where I started off...woke up early today morning only to come down badly with a dizzy headache but that didnt stop me from going to the Zoo - our photography assignment that we had...and as always I was trying to juggle with time thinking will reach and it wouldnt be a problem...

Off late been thinking what if I try to pretend the person I am not, what difference will it make and how will it affect me in long run. Being somebody out of the box, could be interesting because you learn in that process, or it could be the either way - DESTROYING yourself.

But only if things were that easy, as they say - 'Easier said than done' - it's in the human nature, just cant help it - and as I repeat myself, its only that moment, or that situation which lets you know your true self.

So then the question arises - "Who Am I?" or "Identify please!" and thats when the confusion sets in, a person gets frustrated, gets mad and then goes down in depression...Well what could be worse?